NOTE: Yung ibang pics dyan, may kalakip na istorya. May ibang masaya, may ibang malungkot, pero para sakin, achievement ang pagsagot sa survey na ito dahil hindi talaga ko mahilig sa picture taking. =P
Instructions: try your very best to find all of the pictures asked for. use facebook or the pictures stored in your computer. if you can't find one, that's okay. But leave all questions in the survey for others to find.
1. a picture of a night you regret May tama kasi ako. BOOHOO. 2. a picture of you in your room
 sa loob ng room ko sa ex-dorm ko. 3. a picture of you posing with someone/something you liked before but  something went wrong
This is way back in HS. Teacher ko siya dati sa Values Education. Haha. As of the 'something went wrong' part, akin nalang yun. =P 5. a picture of you very drunk
No pic. Buti nalang wala pang ganung pangyayari sakin. 6. a picture of you with a parent or two
Nung HS Graduation ko pa 'to. May mas recent pero katamad magupload. 7. a picture of you on your birthday, or your favorite holiday
Araw yan ng birthday ko. Nagpapakatopak lang.  Christmas with my little sister. =) 8. a picture of you from your younger years
Wala akong pic na nakasave sa comp. Scan ko pa ba yun? 9. a picture of you in one of your favorite outfits
Yang green na blazer/hoodie na binili ko sa Superbench sa SM San Lazaro. All-around kasi eh. =P
Blue collared blouse from Jag. Too bad di ko na pwedeng isuot dahil sa permanent stain.
Another blouse from Jag. Di halatang gusto ko ang Jag diba? =P
This blue shirt from Artwork. Haha. Ang pinakafave ko sa lahat!
10. a picture of you making a goofy face at the camera
Hahaha. This was way back first year pa. =P
11. a picture you might have edited to make yourself more attractive
Nope. Di ako marunong gumamit ng Photoshop eh. =P
12. a picture of you and a team or club you're in
The Nursing Association of Student Achievers! =)
13. a picture of you showing off a new haircut
No pic of that. I hate getting haircuts.
14. a picture of you truly being yourself
Haha. Self-concious overachiever/Mukhang nerd pero hindi nerd. =P
15. your most recent picture
Sorry. Ang pinka-recent ko nang pic ay waaayyy back last March. Pathetic.
16. a picture of you being absolutely ridiculous
Nakakainis talaga! =P (NOTE: May dahilan kung bakit may ganitong pic ako. =P)
17. a picture you're tagged in on facebook that you aren't actually in
No pics as of yet.
18. a picture of a time in your life that's over, but you wish it wasn't
First Year College. Ayoko pang gumraduate!
19. a picture of a time in your life that's over, and you couldn't be more thankful that it is
Bad Hair Day / Frizzy hair days (my hair is no longer as frizzy as before)
Wala akong pics ng pimple days ko. =)
20. a picture with your oldest friend
Si Bettina, friend ko na siya since Grade School.
 Si Lulu, best friend ko since Third Year HS. =) 21. a picture with your newest friend/s
RLE 2.3! Miss you guys! ='(
2-2! (now 3-2) =)
22. a picture of you when you were anything but happy... even if you're smiling and did your best to hide it
Haha. Nyak. Deep inside, wasak na wasak ako. Nuff said.
23. a picture of you that you had no idea was being taken
JEANNE! Ikaw ang may pakana! =P
24. a picture of you when you were a different person than you are now
From this...
Into this.
Malamang may nagbago dyan diba? =P
25. a picture of you in a fashion don't want
Mahirap maghanap ng pic na ganun and I'm sad to say, walang nagqualify. =P
26. a picture of you in a swimsuit
Ayokong magswimsuit at lalong ayokong mapictuaran ng naka-swimsuit! >_<
27. a picture of you taking a shot/chugging a beer/ downing some sort of mixed drink
Actually iinumin ko palang yan. (Asan ba yung pic kong umiinom ng isang basong tequila?)
28. a picture of yourself that you hate
Actually, marami talaga yun at di ako makapili,. =P
29. a picture of you with someone you love
Family
2-2 (now 3-2)
This Side Up (1st Year Friends)
30. a picture of how you'd like the world to see you
Someone who dreamed big and reached the top. =)
31. a picture that describes how you'd like to spend everyday
Reading books! Kahit pabalik-balik pa! =p
32. a picture of a time when everything was changing
 From loafing around days in First Year to experiencing Hospital Duty and Community immersion in Second Year. =) 33. a picture that makes your heart hurt
Dormates ko. Haha, syempre may istorya ulit yan. =P
34. a picture that makes your heart smile
During the Physics movie shoot.
35. a picture of one of the best times in your life
The picture says it all. =)
SO ayun, super effort sa paghahanap ng pics. Lahat ng pics na inilagay ko ay may malaking papel sa kung sino ako ngayon. Nakaramdam ako ng konting nostalgia sa buhay ko.
Hay, a refreshing way to have some EMO time. =P
  NOTE: Sa mga taong nakabasa na sa Part 1 and Part 2 ng entry kong ito, maraming salamat. Lalong-lalo na sa mga nagkomento! Sa mga medyo alam na kung sino ang taong tinutukoy ko, hephephep! Wait lang muna!
...
Dumating nanaman ang buwan na pinakaiinisan ko sa lahat: ang buwan ng Pebrero.
Alam niyo na ang dahilan diba?
Dahil eto nanaman, araw nanaman ng mga puso.
Kung dati ay kinasusuklaman ko ang araw na ito, ngayon, nagbago na ang lahat.
Dahil sa wakas, sa unang pagkakataon, ay may isang tao akong makakasama upang i-celebrate ang masayang araw na ito.
Ang hindi ko lang alam ay matatanggap ko na ang pinakamagandang surpresa na maaring mangyari sa buhay ko.
...
Nagsimula ang araw na tila nakakabagot nung una. General practice kasi ng mga presentation para sa intrams gaya ng cheerdance at cheering kaya abalang-abala ang lahat sa paghahanda. By year level kasi ang labanan kaya talagang siniguro ng bawat year na galingan at pagandahin ang kani-kanilang presentasyon.
Medyo naging busy ako sa pagpapraktis para sa cheering presentation namin. Napanalunan na namin ang unang pwesto noong nakaraang intrams kaya mas lalo naming pinag-igihan ngayon upang maulit muli. Sa pagiging busy ko, sa kahit kaunting sandali ay nakalimutan ko ang tungkol sa kanya.
Nang magpahinga kami sa may *farm pagkatapos naming magpraktis ay pinagmasdan ko ang mga booths na itinayo ng mga estudyante para sa kanilang TLE project. Mga iba't ibang klaseng booth at mga sari-saring produkto ang makikita rito. Natawa nalang ako sa aking sarili at at tumayo ako upang bumili ng maiinom. Naupo ako muli at hinintay nalang na tawagin kami ng aming lider para ituloy na ang praktis.
Nagulat nalang ako bigla nang may lumapit sa amin na dalawang estudyante na alam kong mga first year. May dala-dala silang mga pulang rosas, chocolates at isang regalo.
Mas lalo naman akong nagulat na ako pala ang hinahanap nila.
Oo, alam ko naman na hindi na ako dapat magulat dahil isang tao lang naman ang kilala kong gagawa ng ganito. At pinadeliver pa niya ah!
Nalaman ko na ang mga estudyanteng ito ay parte ng isang "delivery booth" kung saan ay nagbebenta sila ng mga pangregalo para sa valentines tulad ng mga rosas at chocolates at sila pa ang magdedeliver ng mga ito sa taong nais mong pagbigyan nito.
Syempre, natulala lang ako dahil talagang biglaan ang mga pangyayari.
Ngunit aaminin ko, masaya ako.
...
Mabilis na lumipas ang oras. Abala parin kami sa pagpapraktis. Halos wala nang pahinga mula nang matapos ang lunch break namin. Walang dapat masayang na oras. Marami pa kasi kaming pwedeng gawin upang lalo pang pagandahin ang routine.
Hindi ko alam kung bakit, ngunit hindi ako mapalagay. Maaring dahil medyo matagal-tagal na ang oras at kahit mahahaba ang breaks namin ay hindi parin kami nagkikita. Sinubukan kong ituon ang aking pansin sa pagpapraktis upang makalimutan ko ang aking pag-aalala.
Bigla nalang may gumulat sakin. Siya pala yun. Hinawakan niya ang kamay ko at sinabing pupunta kami sa aming secret place. Ako naman ay hindi makatanggi.
...
Natagpuan ko ang aking sarili na nakatitig sa kawalan habang siya naman ay nakasandal sa balikat ko. Pinapanood ko ang pagsayaw ng mga kulay habang papalubog na ang araw. Bigla siyang umalis mula sa pagkakasandal sa balikat ko at tinanong:
"Mahal mo ba talaga ako?"
Tumingin lang ako sa kanya sabay umusal ng isang mahinang ,"oo."
Humarap siya sa akin at tinakpan niya ang mga mata ko. "Bakit mo ako tinatakpan?" tanong ko sa kanya.
"Nahihiya kasi ako sayo eh. Baka kasi hindi mo magustuhan ang gagawin ko," tugon niya.
At bigla niya akong hinalikan sa mga labi.
Hindi ko alam kung paano ako magrereact sa mga oras na yun. Magugulat at magagalit ba dapat ako? Pero sa di malamang dahilan, niyakap ko siya, nang mahigpit, na tila ayaw ko na siyang pakawalan.
...
Pasensya na, super late ang update! Super busy kasi ako sa school ngayon eh! =( It's been a year since I last wrote (or even updated) this multiply site of mine. I was practically having writer's block due to the overwhelming influx of school work.
But why did I suddenly want to write?
It's because I felt the urge to do so. It's because I want to explain myself.
...
I honestly don't know what is happening to me. It feels as though I am not myself anymore. I feel an upsurge of emotions that I didn't know I had. I really didn't know how it all started.
Back at home, I feel really distant even to my own family. I never felt really close to them. Whenever I get home, I would just talk to them casually and that's it. I never really opened up to them about what I truly felt because I am really afraid of what they are going to say to me.
During my early school days, my classmates see me as someone weird, someone they would never understand. I've never been close to any of them mainly because I was afraid that I would cause trouble for them.
I first felt what friendship was when I transferred to my school during my elementary days. I suddenly discovered that there are certain people who are keen to get you out of what they called an 'invisible circle'. For the very first time, I felt happy. But of course, there are some who are ready to put you down. But I was glad, my friends helped me and accepted my flaws and weaknesses. It made my school life happy. It was also the same during my first 2 years of high school.
But everything changed. I have committed a sin that is totally unforgivable. What I thought was true love was never the correct love. It totally changed my life completely. I began to be obsessed with this person and stopped caring for everything else. Before I knew it, I had totally ruined myself completely. When I decided to end it, I realized that I really couldn't do it. Up to my senior year, I was constantly bothered and I couldn't focus on my studies.
When I went here in Manila for college, I thought I would be able to leave the pain behind. Somehow, I managed to succeed during my first year in college. But, I felt something else.
There are times when I experience a sudden upsurge of emotions that I couldn't control. There are even times that I felt happy hurting myself because somehow, I felt like that it would make me feel better. There are even more times that I dream of dying and what would people think during my funeral. The worst part is, it gets more and more intense as the days pass. Eventually, I know that it would totally override my mind and cause things that can hurt other people.
I began to think of ways to try and stop feeling them. I tried to make fun of myself. I let other people tease me relentlessly. I didn't care at all, I wanted a respite on what I am currently experiencing. I began to think that I didn't care if they tease me forever, for as long as they can laugh, I can laugh. I began to do weird stuff because it was my only way of taking away the pain. I believed that by hurting myself, I can feel relief. All throughout, I never revealed what my true feelings were. It was because I couldn't admit to myself that I am weak and I needed help.
During times when I feel it, I began to shy away from other people, people who care for me. I didn't want them to get hurt. I didn't want others to know that my emotions were getting the better of me. I wanted to make myself miserable because I was punishing myself for everything that I have done before. I realized the true reason why I didn't have really close friends was because I always avoided being close to them. I was trying to shut them out.
But what it made even worse was fact that I feel that whenever I try to do something, people always make fun of me. Because of this, I began to doubt myself. And it always make me feel down.
Why am I saying this?
I know that by my constant EMO-ing, people have already branded me as KSP(kulang sa pansin). People thought that I was trying to make them notice me. They are right. I was trying to make my presence know. But I realized, I didn't care anymore if anyone sees me or don't. Honestly, I'd rather disappear. I really didn't feel like taking part in any social activity because I was afraid of ruining it. In many ways, I am inferior to anyone.
Whenever I see my classamtes bonding with their friends, I couldn't help but just go somewhere far. I didn't want to spoil the moment, because If I wanted to, I would've jumped right off their faces.
So what's the real point?
I am sorry for being KSP.
I am sorry for trying to distance myself.
I am sorry if I am OA sometimes.
I am sorry for being moody.
I am sorry for being angry at the wrong moment.
I am sorry for being insensitive.
I am sorry for not 'making pakisama' during jokes
I am sorry for being sensitive when I am being joked.
And I am sorry for always letting myself down.
All I ask is a little patience and understanding in what I am going through. I know its quite hard but I will try my best.
I know all of you really care for me. And I thank all of you for that.
...
I know that I should write this because I know that one day, my mind will belong to someone else.
Ayoko nang maging miserable. Nakakapagod na.... 'Di ko talaga maintindihan kung may hormonal imbalance ako o kaya sadyang may topak lang. Kasi ba naman, pagkatapos naming manood ng something na nakakatawa, bigla-bigla nalang akong nalungkot. Ewan ko ba, 'di ko talaga gusto yung feeling.
Ayoko ng feeling na may magaalala sayo dahil lang biglang nagshift ang mood mo na parang naglilipat lang ng channel sa TV. Parang feeling mo, masyado ka nang nagmumukhang paimportante. Dapat nga, magtatago ako sa may Hobbes and Landes para tumingin sa mga nakadisplay kaso nung iniisip kong papasok na ako, saka nila ako napansin. Bummer. Gusto ko sanang palipasin yung "feeling of melancholy" ika nga. Pero ayun nga, lalong lumakas. Grabe, sinusubukan ko nang isipin yung nararamdaman ko sa "scientific point of view" pero meron talagang mga bagay na kahit anong gawin ng syensya ay 'di nila kayang ipaliwanang tulad nalang ng naramdaman ko nung mga oras na yun.
So ayun, Q&A portion. Ayun, tinanong na ako kung bakit ako malungkot. Ewan ko ba kung ngumiti ako o sumimangot or nagpaka-poker face tapos sinabi kong wala naman. (Take note na medyo vague na yung pagkakarelate ko pero sige straight to the point nako). Tapos gusto ko na kasing ibahin yung usapan kaya tinanong ko kung saan yung Powerbooks sa Trinoma. So punta naman kami dun. Naku naman, pati ba naman sa Powerbooks, malungkot parin ako! Damn! Grabe, kung pwede ko lang i-suppress yung melatonin levels ko, gagawin ko. kaso nga, ewan ko ba.
So pauwi na kami galing Trinoma. Ayun, naghanap nanaman ang bruha ng diversion para mawala ang melancholic feeling niya. So napagdisketahan ko yung comic alley. Ay naku, so kahit paano ay naibsan ang kalungkutan ko. Pero nung nagpunta kami sa AM BLVD na katabi ng comic alley, ay naku, tinamaan nanaman ako. "Di na nakatiis ang classmate ko at tinanong nako ng masinsinan. So ayun, no choice, spill the beans na ang drama ko. Nakwento ko lang naman ang mga simpleng problema ng buhay ko: pag-aaway namin ng roommate ko (na hanggang ngayon ay 'di ko makausap dahil lagi nalang akong may cold feet), yung feeling of uselessness ko, na parang feeling ko hanggang asa lang ako sa mga tao, parang di ko na kayang tumayo sa sarili kong mga paa (totoo naman eh, hanggang pangongopya lang ako, aminin nyo na!) at mga bagay na tila matagal nang bumabagabag sa isipan ko. Pagkatapos kong magkwento, medyo tumino nako. Hay.
Fast forward.
Naglalakad nako pabalik ng dorm. Sa pag-iisa ko, saka ko lamang naisip na matagal nakong miserable. Sobrang nalunod nako. Ewan ko ba, ang laki na talaga ng pinagbago ko. Kung dati ay may pagka-sanguine (masayahin) na tao ako, nagyon, kombinasyon na ng choleric at melancholic, more inclined nga lang sa melancholic side.
Saka ko lang napagtanto na pagod nakong maging miserable. Tama na. Ayoko na. Suko na ako.
(May karugtong)
Nagdaan ang mga araw. Patuloy ako sa pakikipagkita sa kanya ng pasikreto.
Bakit pasikreto?
Alam niyo kasi, isang malaking BAWAL sa pamilya namin na magkaroon kami ng mga karelasyon. Nakakasira nga naman kasi ng konsentrasyon sa pag-aaral.
Naging pakunswelo yun sakin kasi alam kong mas mabibigyan ko ng pansin ang aking pag-aaral kesa sa problemahin pa ang bagay na yun.
Pero alam ko rin naman na darating rin ang araw ay magtataka ako kung bakit hindi ko nararanasan ang tila'y naranasan na ng bawat estudyanteng tulad ko.
Kaya nga maaring eto na ang pagkakataon kong maranasan kung ano ba talaga itong tinatawag nilang
PAG-IBIG.
...
Balik na ulit sa kwento.
So yun nga, nagkikita kami ng pasikreto pagkatapos ng klase. Aaminin ko, nung una ay 'di ko naman alam kung bakit gusto ko ito gawin.
Ngunit dumaan ang mga araw.
At sa pagdaan ng mga araw, nakaramdam ako ng kakaibang saya.
Saya na akala ko ay panghabangbuhay ko nang 'di mararanasan.
...
May ibinunga namang maganda ang lagi naming pagkikita. Naging mas masigasig ako sa pag-aaral at tila lagi akong ganado. Hindi ko nga alam kung bakit ako nagkaganon pero ang alam ko ay lubha akong nasisiyahan sa takbo ng mga pangyayari.
Hindi ko muna ipinaalam ang magandang pangyayaring ito sa mga kaibigan ko. Nagpasya ako na gawin ang tinatawag na "testing the waters" ika nga. Sinabi ko naman sa sarili ko na kapag naging maayos at maganda ang mgaing samahan namin ay magiging hudyat ito upang ipakilala ko siya sa kanila.
...
Sa pagdaan ng mga araw ay marami akong nalaman tungkol sa pagkatao niya. Ngunit hindi ko rin maikakaila na may mga bagay siyang pilit na itinatago sa akin. Mga bagay na tila wala siyang balak na ipaalam sa iba, kahit na sa akin.
Ngunit 'di ko iyon pinansin. Bagkus, ay nirespeto ko ang pagiging ganun niya. Alam ko rin naman na ganun rin naman ang nais kong gawin.
Pero sa 'di ko malamang dahilan ay tila unti-unti ko ring tinanggal ang inhibisyon sa aking sarili.
At kasabay noon ay ang unti-unting pagbukas ng aking puso para sa kanya.
...
5:30 ng hapon. Nakaupo kaming dalawa sa may hagdan sa loob ng High School Building ng aming paaralan. Ang lapit namin sa isa't isa, halos 1 cm nalang ang pagitan namin. Ito ang madalas naming ginagawa sa tuwing nagkikita kami: ang maupo nang magkatabi, tahimik at tila pinapanood ang paglubog ng araw mula sa 4th floor.
Habang nakaupo kami ay pinagmasdan ko ang mukha niya. Oo, inaamin kong hindi siya ang taong pinapangarap ko na mahalin ako. Ngunit, tila unti-unti rin namang nagbabago ang pananaw ko.
Bigla siyang napatingin sa akin. Nagulat talaga ako nang ginawa niya yun at heto pa, mas lalo akong nagulat nang bigla niya akong hinalikan sa isa kong pisngi.
Natulala ako, tila na-hypnotized ako. Hanggang pag-uwi ko sa bahay.
Eto na ba talaga? Totoo na ba talaga itong nararamdaman ko?
Naramdaman ko nalang na unti-unti nang nahuhulog ang loob ko sa kanya.
(Part 3 sa susunod.)
Hay naku.
Bakit ko ba sinusulat 'tong entry na ito?
Kung tutuusin, wala naman talaga akong naging proper love. What I meant is hindi naman talaga ako nagkaroon ng mga pangmatagalang relasyon. Kahit fling nga wala eh (okay, okay, put that thing aside). Kaya ko lang naisip isulat 'to kasi nga para mailibing ko na sa limot ang isang bagay na matagal nang bumabagabag sakin.
Tungkol kasi yun sa naging First Love ko.
...
Aaminin ko, isa ako sa mga taong na palagi nalang 'di napapansin ng mga lalake. Oo, lagi nalang talaga.
As in nabuhay ako sa mundo ng singles club. Late bloomer din ako pagdating sa crushes (1st Year HS ako nang magkaroon ako ng long-time at matinong crush). Actually nga, ayokong-ayoko umaatend ng HS night kasi yun ang may mga slow-dance moments na ni isang lalake ay walang lumapit sakin para makipagsayaw.
Ang okasyong pinakaayaw kong dumating ay ang Valentine's Day. Ang araw na kung saan ay bumabaha ng flowers at chocolates. Nakakatanggap rin naman ako ng mga regalo pero galing yun sa mga kaibigan ko. Para sa akin kasi, mas masaya kung ang mga regalong yun ay galing sa isang taong kahit papaano ay gusto ako.
Kahit na marami rin akong kaibigang katulad ko ang kalagayan, hindi rin nagtagal ay nakahanap na rin sila. Ako nalang ang naiwan.
Hay, unti-unti rin naman akong nasanay sa bagay na yan at dahil dyan, ay ginusto ko talagang maging madre. Kung 'di talaga darating ang pag-ibig sakin, ay nagpasya nalang ako na sumuko sa paghihintay.
Wala na talaga akong pag-asang magkaroon ng pag-ibig.
Hanggang nagbago ang takbo ng buhay ko pagdating ng Third Year HS.
...
Sa pagtungtong ko sa taong ito, ganun parin naman ang takbo ng mga pangyayari. Loveless at clueless parin ako. Good year rin naman ito para sakin; napadpad ako sa star section ng batch ko. Nag-eenjoy nga ako sa mga ginagawa namin na halos nakalimutan ko na ang tungkol sa problema kong ito.
Hanggang dumating ang isang taong 'di ko inaasahang magbabago sa dati kong pananaw.
...
Practice para sa presentation sa CCP noon. Nakaupo ako kasama ang isa kong kaibigan. Nag-uusap kami kami tungkol sa maraming bagay dahil nagpapalipas lang talaga kami ng oras. Wala naman kasing homework nung araw na yun kaya nagpaiwan nalang ako at sinabing sasabay nalang sa 5:30 na sundo.
Nang bigla siyang lumapit sakin.
Nakipag-usap siya dun sa kaibigan ko tapos biglang nagpakilala siya sakin. Nalaman ko na kasama siya sa mga magtatanghal. Pagkatapos, bigla rin siyang bumalik sa kanilang practice. Pagkatapos, bumalik siya ulit at nakipag-usap samin. Aaminin ko, natatawa talaga ako sa kanya kasi grabe siya kung magpatawa. Sumakit ang tiyan ko sa kakatawa hanggang makauwi ako sa bahay.
...
Ilang araw rin ang dumaan at wala akong naging komunikasyon sa kanya. Hindi na rin ako nanonood ng mga practices kasi ang dami ko nang kailangang gawin. Makalipas rin ng ilang araw ay nakalimutan ko na rin ang tungkol sa una naming pagkikita.
Isang araw, bigla nalang siya napatawag sa bahay.
Nagulat ako nang narinig ko ang boses niya sa telepono. Tinanong ko kung saan niya nalaman ang phone number ko. 'Di niya sinabi sakin, basta diretso nalang siya sa pagsasalita. Nalaman ko na nag-away pala sila ng isa kong kaibigan nung isang gabi. Halatang halong gulat at pag-aalala ang naramdaman ko.
Nung pumasok ako sa paaralan kinabukasan, tinanong ko sa kaibigan ko kung anong nangyari. Biglang napansin ko na nag-iba bigla ang kwento, ibang-iba sa kinuweneto sakin sa telepono. Dito na ako nagduda. Sinubukan naming pagbatiin silang dalawa ngunit nahirapan kami. Sa bandang huli, nalaman ko rin naman na siya pala talaga ang may kasalanan ng lahat. Hindi ko mapigilang magalit sa taong iyon dahil sinaktan niya ang isang taong mahalaga sa akin.
Ngunit hindi pa rito nagtatapos ang lahat.
Nagpatuloy siya sa pagtawag sakin sa telepono. Nung una, medyo naiinis ako dahil lagi nalang ako naiistorbo sa mga ginagawa ko. Pero di naglaon, gustong-gusto ko na lagi siyang tumatawag sakin, bagay na pag tumigil ay hindi na tama ang lahat.
...
Ngunit ang isang bagay na talagang ikinagulat ko ay ang madalas niyang pagbibigay ng mga 'notes' sakin. Yung mga tipong puro mga 'mushy' na tula ang nakalagay. Minsan, mga sulat niya 'yon na nagkukwento ng tungkol sa maraming bagay. Pinabibigay niya kasi yun sa isang ka-service ko sa school bus kasi kaklase niya yun. Dito na ako lubhang naintriga sa kanya.
Inipon ko ang lahat ng mga 'notes' na binigay niya sakin. Sa iba't ibang papel kasi nakasulat. Minsan sa yellow pad, minsan sa stationery. Meron din namang isinulat sa pinilas na papel ng math notebook. Binasa ko yung mga yun isa-isa. Hanggang sa napansin ko na ang lahat ng mga sulat niya ay nagpapahiwatig ng isang bagay: tila nagtatapat siya ng pag-ibig.
Ngunit nung mga oras na yun, hindi ko inisip na ako ang taong tinutukoy niya. Ang iniisip ko ay baka gusto lang niya yun gawin, na tila gawain naman niya palagi.
Nang halos malapit nang matapos ang taon ay naunawaan ko na ang kanyang nais.
Nang mag-usap kami sa telepono, bigla siyang nagtanong kung may manliligaw sakin ay sasagutin ko daw ba agad. Natawa ako; tila nainsulto ako sa tanong niya na parang pilit niya akong pinagmumukhang desperado. Sinabi ko sa kanya na hindi ko rin agad sasagutin; kailangan ko munang malaman kung karapat-dapat siya. Ilang beses niyang pilit na iniiba ang usapan hanggang nagtaka ako kung bakit.
At doon na niya sinabi. Mahal niya ako.
Napanganga ako, na tila hindi ako makapaniwala. Ngunit lumunok ako at sinabi nang mahinahon na tumatanggi ako.
Doon ko nakita ang sinseridad niya sa sinabi niya. Inaamin kong nang dahil lang sa awa kaya ako pumayag ngunit may iba rin namang dahilan kung bakit.
Ito na kaya ang pagkakataon kong maranasan ang pag-ibig?
(Part 2 sa susunod.)  | YAHOO! | Apr 8, '08 10:41 AM
for everyone |
"Ihanda na ang lechon...!"
HAHA.
All I can say is...
THANK YOU LORD I PASSED THE UST COLLEGE OF NURSING CUTOFF!
And thank you also for giving us the courage and faith to hold on even in our darkest moments, to finally reach what he have right now. =)
Again, thank you Father God.
P.S. More insight about this tomorrow. =) | Your Mind is Green |  Of all the mind types, yours has the most balance.
You are able to see all sides to most problems and are a good problem solver.
You need time to work out your thoughts, but you don't get stuck in bad thinking patterns.
You tend to spend a lot of time thinking about the future, philosophy, and relationships (both personal and intellectual). |
Okay, so the online grades for 2nd Sem are up at the UST Online Grades page. I did check out mine and although I already know my grades ahead of time, I am still pleased with what all my effort/laziness gave me.  Of course, it's not much, compared to what my classmates got, but yeah, I'm still pleased. But of course, the big question is: Will we all make it? P.S. To compute for your Final Average, it's a 60-40 system. 60% 1st sem grade, 40% 2nd sem grade. Recently, I remembered that I once maintained a blog site when I was in High School. To be honest, I was once a very prolific blogger back then. I would usually blog about a lot of stuff that happened to me and my views about issues currently affecting me and possibly others. I also posted some of my literary works which I guess, I was too shy to have it published. I have been in the blogging business for almost a year. 1 year and 2 months to be exact. Because I was pretty much serious about this hobby of mine, I managed to catch the attention of the blogging world. I managed to win awards and earned the admiration of other bloggers. But I guess, those weren't the reasons that kept me going. It was because I felt that I needed to do it. It was my desire, my calling. But, I guess, that just wasn't the case. After those crucial months, I decided to give up blogging. Because I felt that my writer's block was getting into me. For months, which I think stretched to almost a year, I stopped writing altogether. Maybe because the spark, the flame that kept me going was put out. I am simply not inspired anymore. And for some wretched reason, I never regretted my decision. Until now. ... Okay, so I really missed writing. I can't possibly change that. So when I checked out my old blog, I found out that a lot of people still commented on my posts. I guess, they were still waiting for me to get back to business. But I guess, I won't be able to. The old spark just wasn't there anymore. But, I felt that I was reborn again. Little by little, I would be able to rekindle my flame. I hope so. ... Let me share with you an old blog entry of mine that dealt with the constant pressures that I experienced as a writer/blogger: Writing Advice / Thursday, June 01, 2006
Well, I decided to start off this article with a background of my short-spanned and illustrious career as a student cum writer. Well, I had this serious encounter in writing since my elementary years. "Class, write something about your summer vacation.", "Class, write something about your pet." , "Class, write something about nature." The versatility is endless. I must admit, I don't like writing so much. I always ran out of ideas to write about. When I was in Grade 4, I wrote something about my fantasy vacation. My English teacher liked what I wrote. She was the one who encouraged me to write. Up to this day, I thank her for giving me the chance. My teachers, well some of them, like the essays I write. They always give me praises for my works. I must admit, if weren't for them, I would've thrown my manuscripts into the trash can and let the dump read it. Of course, I also have my share of frustrations in this field. When I joined a writing club, I had to admit that I'm not a good writer. I always get criticized for my work. To be honest, I really don't like being criticized. I almost quitted if not for my friend who encouraged me. When I went to high school, I had completely forgotten about writing. I only write for requirement and not for passion, as I always did before. So why I'm telling you this? Well, I want to clarify some things up. Well, the reason why I write is to "exorcise the demon in me." Quite confusing isn't it? Well, I write to satisfy the longings of my heart that I never experienced before. Mainly, out of what I hear and what I feel during that particular moment. A writer's "personal demons" are the brainchild behind every countless story, essay, poem, manuscript, book or novel. "A writer is a victim of a curse which for ordinary people the only cure is a bath."
-Bob Ong
Well of course, there are times when I'm required to pass formal themes for English class. And I admit, it's the worst-case scenario I've ever been into. Well as I have said earlier, I hate being criticized. And formal themes are the most heavily bombarded with criticism or worse, corrections. Of course when I write, I put into consideration my grammar skills as well as the literary sense. That's why I'm disappointed. I tried everything, I set my mind into it and yet, I'm still bad-mouthed and criticized. Well, of course we hate those who criticize our works but we need them. So if you cannot accept being corrected, then writing is not the profession for you...Many people thought that writers are the most arrogant people but it's the opposite. Writers are the most heavily affected by rejection and failure compared to other people. The Door-to-door salesmen, when they are being ignored by people, they know that only the product, not them is the problem. But when writers get rejected, they are rejected because of their ability. Many famous writers suffered great humiliation before their works were accepted. And of course, critics were next in their list of tormentors. But, what's important is you have readers that you can give your inspiration to. "Write for them, not for the critics."
-You-
Your Name: Marj
Your Age: 17
Did you Graduate?: Yes
Where did you attend highschool?: Elizabeth Seton School
Was it big or small?: Just right.
What year was your class?: 2006-2007
-Freshman Year-
How old were you?: 13
Who was your best friend?: best is such a strong word. (quoted from Paulo)
Other good friends?: Obie, Juan, Ayumi, Betz, Debu, Michie
Favorite class/subject?: Actually, I don't play favorites with my subjects
Favorite teacher?: hmmm I'll play safe on this.
Least favorite class?: PE and Science
Teacher you hated?: Ms. Jane Martha Abrieu and Mrs. Maridel Rante (Titans, do you remember these names?)
Best memory?: hmmm. HS Night?
Worst memory?: Getting uneducated criticism for something we worked hard on (pwede nang idisplay sa basurahan)
School trend/obsession?: Meteor Garden ata yun.
Did you have a crush?: Yes
Boyfriends/Girlfriends? None
Dances you went to?: HS Night.
Did you adjust to highschool quickly?: I guess so.
-Sophomore-
How old you were: 14
Who was your best friend?: best is such a strong word once again
Other good friends?: Obie, Juan, Ayumi, Betz, Debu, Michie, Jocelyn, Jara, Denise 200, JC (haha)
Did you have a job?: Nope.
Favorite class?: uhm I still don't know.
Favorite teacher?: still no faves
Worst class?: English?
Most hated teacher?: Secret.
Admit it, you enjoyed torturing freshmen.: We don't. =)
Clubs or Sports?: Yearbook committee?
Crushes?: Of course.
Boy/Girlfriends?: none
Best memory?: the field trip to Subic , when Debu celebrated her birthday and when we won the Intrams Championship
Worst memory?: When I was scolded by my English teacher for reading someone else's journal.
Nights out spent?: hmmm HS Night ulit. Well, does Debu's party at Island Cove count? It was a night out.
Favorite thing to do?: Reading, surfing the net (kahit sa net cafe lang), watching TV
How was that summer?: hmm we had a despedida party for Debu
One random memory about this year?: I won the Math Quiz bee group category although I wasn't really good enough
-Junior-
Did you start looking at colleges?: No. Honestly.
Best friend?: Lulu. =)
Close friends?: still the same people with Bianca and Sophie and the whole RPQ school bus
Best class/subject?: I still don't know
Best teacher?: Ms. Leah Placencia, our PE teacher
Worst class?: Trigonometry. (I really fell apart after that)
Favorite memories?: The Mt. Makiling EOP, when we won the Intrams Championship for the second time
Worst memories?: Almost failing Trigo and Stat(?)
Did you have a job?: nope.
How were the nights out NOW?: hmm I really don't have a night life.
What did you do?: ???
People you saw most out of school?: School Buses.
Dances you went to, and with whom?: HS Night again.
Boy/Girlfriends?: Secret.
Activities you took part in?: Academic Week, Intrams
Excited for your senior year?: Yeah. We'll finally be the most powerful batch yet.
Silly things you remember about this year: hmmm. I can't remember.
-Senior-
At last, right?: Yeah. Every day you spent is like your last.
How quick did this seem to come?: quick as lightning.
Best friend?: Lulu, although we fight much.
Close friends?: same same as what I mentioned.
Favorite class?: Hmmm. I still don't know.
Favorite teacher?: All of them!
Worst class?: Hmm. Physics and Math. But I like the teachers.
Most hated teacher?: Secret.
Favorite memories?: Every memory I made during my Senior year is the best!
Worst memory?: The grades in Physics!
How was your LAST summer vacation?: Boring.
Did you have all your grad requirments?: Yes. Mabait ako eh.
Crushes?: Of course.
Free time was spent?: Cam-whoring.
Did you apply for college?: Oh yeah. Although my top priority was a good university that offered Nursing.
Did you get in?: Yep. Got accepted in all I've applied except UP
What you wanted to do with your career: None really. But my parents compelled me to choose Nursing for practicality sake. That's how I ended up in the UST College of Nursing.
Were you stressed often?: YES! Walang tulog sa dami ng requirements.
Senioritis?: Yeah! Hail the mighty Titans!
Did you get teary eyed at all?: I did.
Were you afraid to move on?: At first, yes. But I realized that life still goes on.
Did you/will you go to prom?: I went to our Gradball. We don't have proms.
Who did/will you go with?: Haha. We don't have dates.
Did you/will you go to graduation?: Oo naman! Don't want to miss it.
Class song?: Class song? We don't have one.
Class motto?: Haha. GREAT MINDS THINK ALIKE. (yung nakasulat sa ibabaw ng blackboard.)
-The Future-
How old are you now?: 17
Thing you miss most about highschool?: everyone and everything Seton.
Thing you miss least?: dunno.
That ONE teacher you'll always remember?: hmm. Too many to mention.
One silly memory?: Too many and I'm too embarrassed to remember them.
One sad memory?: Still too many to mention.
One moment/feeling you'll never forget?: The feeling of loving and being loved.
Your overall highschool experience was?: THE BEST.
Do you still see your friends?: Yes, of course.
Your best friend NOW?: NOW? Hmm. Best is such a strong word.
One thing about your highschool life: I'm willing to trade everything just to get it back.
Plans for the future: Use my skills to help people who needed help.
How is it, moving on?: Hmm. I guess I should wait for April 8.
Were you ready for it?: I am preparing myself for the worst possible thing.
Closing thought: High School is not at all fun and games. It could be these 4 years that would change your life. As you go on this four-year journey, you will discover how how much you will grow up and how many people would be part of your journey. It is up to you to make the most out of these years of your life.
| "Happy" | Mar 30, '08 9:58 AM
for everyone |
Dahil na-tag ako ni Katrina (yes, dahil binasa ko yung entry niya), sige, papauto muna ako at sasagutan ko muna 'to.
Simple lang naman ang rules: just post ten things that recently made you happy!
Then tag ten(?) people. Let's start.
1. Nakauwi narin sa bahay sa wakas.
Grabe, after a couple of weeks na hindi ako umuuwi (dahil sobrang busy sa training ng pautakan at sa mga term papers), ay nakauwi narin ako. So far, akala ko naman palalalayasin nako ng bahay dahil sa sobrang tagal na akong di umuuwi.
2. Nakita ko na yung grades ko.
Kahit tumayo ako ng apat na oras sa main building, nothing beats the feeling of having finally seen your grades. Yung tipong mamamatay ka na sa suspense kung hihintayin mo pa yung online grades. Well, sa tingin ko naman ay okay ang mga nakuha kong grades kahit na madalas ay nagbubulakbol lang ako minsan sa pag-aaral at lahat na ata ng pag-aalala ay nakatuon sa mga term papers na kinailangan naming gawin.
3. Anime DVD Marathons
Haha, ngayon ko lang na-appreciate kung gaano kaganda pag meron kang DVD player at ilang Anime DVDs. Oo, alam kong halos lahat ay mahilig sa DVD marathons kaya talagang nahuhuli nako pero masaya parin kasi andami palang magagandang anime na hinding-hindi ko pa talagang narinig sa tanang buhay ko.
4. Sleep
Oh yes! Matakaw talaga ako sa tulog! Kahit na kailangan ko talagang mag-aral para sa isang exam ay hindi ko talaga kakayaning gumawa ng isang all-nighter kahit na ma-overdose ako sa energy drinks at Starbucks coffee. Ngayong bakasyon, pag wala talagang magawa, ay nagnanakaw ako ng tulog. Pero inaabot talaga ako ng 2-4 hours kaya hirap na hirap akong makatulog sa gabi. Siguro kung kaharap ko yung mga libro at handouts ko, makakatulog talaga ako.
5. Reading sessions
Kahit paulit-ulit ko nang binabasa ang lahat ng libro na meron ako dito sa bahay, feeling ko parin ay first time ko lang nabasa ang mga yun. Kaya kong mabuhay nang walang TV or internet basta makapagbasa lang ako. Yun lang naman ang tanging luho ko sa buhay eh.
6. Internet
Whoo hoo! Finally! Unlimited internet! Pwede nakong maging online sa YM forever! Kaso nga lang, medyo nakakasawa naring magsurf sa net pag dito sa bahay di gaya nung pasukan pa, ay forbidden luxury yun sakin kaya pag may opportunity ay hinding-hindi ko pinapalampas.
7. Music
Syempre, unparalleled music freedom! Pwedeng-pwede nakong mag-soundtrip nang hindi nag-aalala tungkol sa kung ano-ano. Call me crazy but I love listening to my music when I am in a totally 'blank' state. Which means I only listen to music when I am not currently affected by the environment around me, as if I am whisked into my own comfort zone.
8. Freedom from school
I think hindi naman talaga itong magandang dahilan para maging masaya ako eh. Hindi ko na kasi makikita yung roommates ko sa dorm (Shephoy! Ate Cary! Ate Brendz! Josann! Nix!) at ang 1-10 (huhu!). Kaya lang ako masaya sa pagtatapos ng schoolyear kasi sa wakas malaya na tayo mula sa mga pasakit na tinatawag na schoolwork.
9. Crash diets
Mas lalo naman dapat hindi ako masaya dahil dyan dahil summer equals food! Kaso, sabi nga ng nanay ko na limitahan ko na nga daw ang aking food intake lalo na sa kanin kasi nga sobrang lakas ko nga sa kanin. Trivia: kaya kong umubos ng kahit ilang plato ng kanin basta may kahit katiting lang na ulam. Pero I guess, medyo nasasanay nako at nakokontrol ko na rin.
10. Rest
Hindi ko na kailangang mag-elaborate tungkol dyan. Yan naman ang kailangan natin diba?
SO I TAG...
YOU. Yes, you. The one reading my post. It's up to you. For all the days I stopped blogging, a lot of things happened.
Second semester. Starting with a fresh, clean slate. I never knew how hard it was for me to even go through this ordeal.
But hey, I was able to prove myself I was wrong. For just this once.
...
When 2nd sem started, I was still reeling from the blows I took during my 1st semester in the College of Nursing. That 2.75 drubbing in Chemistry. That disappointing grade in English. That Iguessthatwasjustaguessandnothingmore grade I got in Logic which made me think whether I still have a freaking chance of passing. It was a good thing some of my minor subjects saved me (especially Theology, which I couldn't remember not making a fool of myself in) or else, I would've sank in the doldrums.
...
Hell has been my favorite word ever since I started college. Why? Because I know for a fact that all the things I've never bothered to do when I was in High School, I did all of them in college.
Gone were the days when I spent just a scant 2 hours before deadline to do my book review in English (but hey, I did read Rob Crusoe!), sleeping 10 hours per night and still waking up very late with a little over 30 minutes before the school bus arrives, doing my math and physics homework inside a moving vehicle (which makes no wonder about how low my grades in these two subjects were) and those things that for others may seem way too reckless but perfectly normal for me. Honestly, I was pretty much happy-go-lucky back then but I had to admit, I was pretty much grade-conscious, which made me wonder that despite this fact, I still had so-so grades.
But when I moved to college, everything changed. Everything seemed to move into a perfectly brilliant routine, something I tried so hard to avoid.
Believe me, I did all those nerdy stuff. I studied lessons, I did my homework, all those things expected from a good student. It was a totally new experience for me. At first, I tried to apply my happy-go-lucky nature during the first few days and it kind of worked, luring me into a false sense of security.
When I was jerked awake from my daydream, I realized that I've created a big mess for myself that I guess would take a long time to fix. My grades were going down the drain, I was finding it hard to focus on my lessons. I became more and more irresponsible everyday. Before I knew it, it caused a drastic imbalance in my life. I became more withdrawn and emotional. Even with my new found friends around me, there were times that I just wished that I was alone so that I could just suffer in silence without bothering anyone. But the worst thing is, my being grade-conscious just went off the hook.
Somehow, I started to realize that this is not supposed to be the case.
Slowly, during the Finals, I've managed to push myself to do better. Partly because I wanted to keep myself in the college of Nursing and partly because I wanted to show myself that I can transcend my limits.
When the grades for 1st sem were released, I was partly satisfied and partly disappointed. Disappointed because I knew that I was not yet transcending my limits; it seemed that I was just testing the waters, trying to see whether I'm up for the challenge and satified, because I guess my average kept me afloat.
...
Fast forward to 2nd sem.
It was a fresh start, with everything back to square one. This was another chance for me to correct every mistake i did during the previous semester and to make myself promise many times that I will never repeat those same mistakes again.
But alas, the call of temptation is so hard to avoid.
There were a lot of instances when I had to study for so many quizzes: quizzes in zoo, chem, SA, etc., I would just lie down on my bed until the feeling that I need to study is gone. I just busied myself taking super power naps, which eventually turn into the real sleep deal. As a result, I was doing even more poorly than before. But hey, that wasn't the worst part yet.
What made the whole sem way too miserable are the term papers. We were actually working on 4 term papers (Zoo, Fil, Eng and SA, the latter could be either a paper or a documentary) and all I can say is that it drained me of my sanity and lots of pocket money. In all these papers that we had to write, there were a lot of money involved (costs for printing, for photocopying, bookbinding, etc.), not to mention lots of times swallowing your pride in handing out survey forms to complete strangers. Well, for some, this is the least of their problems but for others like me who were such shy-horns, it was an arduous task.
Well of course, I could say that despite all these difficulties, I am proud of the all the work we did for all the papers, especially in Filipino where in I knew I put all my best effort on. I wasn't expecting high grades in all these term papers but it was enough for me to see the outputs we were able to conceive because of hard work, lots of patience and teamwork.
I was also proud to say that I was able to help our Nursing Pautakan team to win that coveted Pautakan team title, a title the college has never won for 30 years. I was so happy that despite the numerous times that I was thinking of quitting for training always interfered with supposed meetings for the accursed term papers, for thinking that I wasn't worthy enough of joining the team because I thought I was just going to be a burden, that I still held on to my willingness to help the team win.
Okay, so I'm digressing already.
...
After Pautakan, I saw myself coming back from the Netherworld to finally put the finishing touches for the semester. It was a crazy task and I was glad that despite the numerous things I was involved in, I managed to score high in my quizzes especially in Chem Lab, where last sem, I was waging an impossible battle. When I took the final exams, all I could do was to put all my best effort on it and never look back.
When I finally knew it was all over, I just breathed a sigh of relief. Then I went partying with the some of the most important people in my life: my friends and NASA, my beloved org.
After that arduous wait at the Main Building for the chance to see my grades, I realized that everything that I've worked on, all the sweat, blood, tears, money and sanity that I gave, all the time for my family that I gave up just to do the things I needed to do, were not put to waste.
The Lord gave me a second chance to stand up after a hard fall.
Oh yeah, It's been so long since I wrote anything on this blog. So, I'll start again.
So today, I went to UST to check out my grades. Well, all I can say is that the line is sooooooooo long! Not to mention that what made the waiting time so long is the fact that some students were checking out even the grades of their classmates (and possibly their whole section or batch!), not even bother to give a damn about the others who were waiting for so long.
Oh yeah, my feet were almost dead, and my legs were like jelly standing up for so long.
Finally, after that long wait, I finally saw my grades. Here it is:
Eng 101 - 1.75
Fil 2 - 1.5
Thy 2 - 1.0
SA - 1.75
Zoo 100 - 2.25
Chem 204 - 2.25
PE (Softball) - 1.25
Put together (except PE), it gave me an average of 1.84 for 2nd sem. Combined with my 1st sem grade, which is 2.03, I got 1.94.
Which left me thinking...Is this enough for me to pass?
| You Are The Chariot |  You represent a difficult battle, and a well-deserved victory.
You tend to struggle to get what you want, both internally and externally.
You excel at controlling opposing forces, getting down the same path.
In the end, you bring glory and success - using pure will to move forward.
Your fortune:
There is great conflict in your life right now, either with yourself or others.
You must find a solution to this conflict, which is likely to be a "middle road" between the two forces.
You posses the skills to triumph over these struggles, as long as your will is strong.
You are transforming your inner self, building a better foundation for future successes. |
It's been a while since I last posted a coherent blog entry here in Multiply. I suddenly remembered that I promised myself that I'll be updating frequently here. Nah, after a couple of months, I just can't force myself to write.
So finally, in this last entry of mine for 2007, I'll give a detailed review of what happened to me during this year and what have I become as this year progressed.
January
Well, this was the time when I received the results of my USTET. I passed both Nursing and PT and I'm in for an interview. I was really thrilled, knowing that only 3 from our batch made it to 'for interview' status among my batchmates who also wanted to take up Nursing in UST. Sad to say, this was also the time where I found out that I flunked UPCAT.
Our section's retreat also happened during this month. We were able to bond together as one section and it gave me a chance to know myself even more.
February
Well, I did noticed that time flew rather fast during this month. We had our teacher's day and for the first time, I was assigned a teacher's position. At first, I was really nervous, given that I'm pretty much the shy type and afraid of large crowds and the fact that I'm still prety much inexperienced. But, it went rather well and I got closer to the students who I taught...even if just for a while.
Oh yeah, this was the month when I was interviewed in UST. I really felt jittery during that whole session given that we didn't have lunch ( I spent about 5 hours waiting for my name to be called). But after it was finished for just about five minutes, I really felt glad.
March
Graduation, isn't it? The day we've been waiting for after all the hard work and slaving we did during our four years of High School. It was a day of mixed emotions: sad because we'll not going to see each other for a very long time (except if some of you would be going to the same schools), happy because high school's finally over, and anticipation for the new chapter we've all been waiting for: College life.
But for me, I still have a big problem. I just got the news that my stsus as an applicant in UST is: WAITLISTED. Good gracious, I still don't have a university to go to. But I realized that it must be because of my poor grade in Physics ( I got 77 during two consecutive quarters). I just crossed my fingers and prayed for the best.
April-May
All I can say is that I had a boring summer vacation. The only things that made it quite interesting are: when I went to UST to follow-up my waitlisted status, I was immediately accepted as an official applicant which leads to the next thing on the list: enrollment. Since we (my mom and I) have finalized our decision for me to study Nursing in UST ( I was supposed to choose between DLSU-Dasmariñas and UST, but my mom quipped "pumasa ka naman sa UST, eh dun ka na mag-aral.), we decided that I should go for it. It was such a tiring process since there were so many things that are needed to be done but the fact that I enrolled on my own made it all worthwhile. I can even say that I could take care of myself ( I just got myself into a dorm that's really, really near to UST and my mom says that I would be so tired after all the commuting.)
June
School's around the corner again. But, I'm now in a different school and in a different world. Different because the things you used to see, the people you used to hang out with everyday, are not around anymore. Everyone had their own private world, even me.
I moved into my dorm two nights before classes started. It's because no one would be able to accompany me, they decided to let me move in two days early so that I'll be able to get used to sleeping there.
The day before classes, we had an eyeball with the people whom I met in the internet during the time I was so addicted to USTex. They were all very nice and I was glad that I came to Manila early. If not, I wouldn't have met them in person.
When I came back that afternoon, I met my would-be roommates. We had a nice time talking with each other. soon, we were off to bed.
June 13. First day of classes. I was really nervous. The first day-jitters which once plagued me when I was young suddenly came back again. That feeling had always been brand new to me again and for the first time, it felt good. Oh yeah, I got lost trying to find my first classroom and all but by the end of the day, it was worth it. I made new friends and I really looked forward to going to school everyday.
July-October
Well, these are the months that brought me a lot of changes, not only in myself but on others as well. Well, my study habits have dramatically changed, given the fact that all the subjects I had are capable of killing me softly. My attitude about life also changed. I now viewed life as something that I wanted to end already because it was so hard. I remembered the time when I caned myself inside the discussion room because I just can't take it anymore.
Don't get me wrong. I didn't say that my life during first sem was really that hard. Of course, I had my share of happy moments too. Getting to know people who share the same interests as you and who are ready to back you up when in trouble have really made me happy.
But of course, I guess, I was too wrapped up in my own depression to care.
I also got to watch the Tiger's UAAP games. I think I was able to watch 3 games ( games in which UST lost to ADMU, both in 2nd round and the stepladder matches and the one in which UST won against FEU). It was really fun watching it with my friends and cheering on for support. Even though UST lost in the stepladder match, I would still continue to support them and cheer for them.
By the end of the final exams for first semester ( which happens to be my birthday ), I really felt that I really didn't do well. But does it matter? At least I survived first sem. =)
By the last week of October ( I couldn't remember the date ), I got myself enrolled for second sem. I was still damn lucky I didn't get a failing grade. I got 2.75 in Chem and 2.5 in Logic and 2.25 in English but I managed to get satifactory grades.
When 2nd sem enters, I hoped that would be able to try harder. Well, I bought myself a new portable music player. It's called Kingston KPEX and although it's not as glamorous as the iPod, I am still satified with it since it has a lot of features which the iPod didn't have. November The month of 2nd sem. A lot of new things happened. There were new subjects to study. But the fact that these new subjects are more bearable ( My prof in SA is my prof back in 1st sem and ny Zoology prof teaches really, really well) makes it more fun to study. Although I still slacked on some of the subjects ( I think I failed my first quiz in SA given that I slept through studying), I still felt that my performance was pretty much satisfactory. Well, the Nursing Week also happened during this month. We enjoyed it a lot and I even got the chance to meet the UST tigers in person. *kyaa* December Hahaha, the month where in we took our monthly exams. Compared to the exam during 1st sem, it was more bearable. We also had exchange gifts during our last day of exams ( I got a really soft pillow and cologne. Thanks Bernadette!). ... Looking back, I realized that I I've changed a lot. But through the change, I was able to discover who I really am, no pretentions, no showy displays. So I really wish all of you a HAPPY NEW YEAR! Akemashite Omedetou Gozaimasu! | What is Your Inner Element? | 
The Element of Air
You are the Air that fills Earths' lungs, and what keeps life grounded. The most intellectual of all elemental signs, you could hold a conversation all night with out ever losing your parties interest. You are highly versatile, and extremely adaptable to new situations. Highly opinionated, you often try to get others to follow your views. You love the arts, and are probably very artistically inclined yourself. You love everything that beholds beauty, and you seek out harmony with every aspect of your life. You are the life of any party, you could talk for hours about any subject! Being the element of Air you are: assertive, independent, progressive, analytical, original, inventive, strong dislikes, and firm opinions. Things to be cautious of: you are prone to accidents while traveling, especially while in the Air, fickle nature at times-which angers some, you often misjudge things/issues, you have problems with love due to the fact that you are too indecisive and at other times are too easy to fall in love, which causes anger and disappointment, you are often under attack by narrow-minded people because of innovation, unconventional ways of life, and eccentricities, and you also have a tendency to get into unusual situations and make friends with some "oddball individuals." | How do you compare?
Take this test! | Tests from Testriffic |
As usual, the ones with small font and highlights really fitted me. =)
 Shoot. Nakakakaaliw naman. Tugmang-tugma yung result sa personality ko. =) | What color are your wings, and what type of angel are you? (girls) | 
Black Angel
You are for the most part a person of feeling and sensation and this means your experience of life is very much coloured by your sentiment. Often you will ignore your own better rational processes in favour of how you feel rather than what you think about a situation or someone. Obviously that is why others turn to you when they need a shoulder to cry on and why you also would do well in any of the caring professions. This is highlighted by your key life phrase: “I nurture”. Anyone who knows you will agree that you are one of the easiest and most approachable people to connect with if they need advice in trying times.You are extremely receptive to your environment and the people around you and will often “pick up” their energies, moods and possibly even thoughts. This ability serves you well; your intuition about peoples’ intentions is quite often correct. Your knack of knowing their issues before they even open their mouths attracts them to your natural and helpful style. The difficulty with this, however, is that you also have a tendency to mother others and absorb their negativity. You must guard against this as it will be difficult for you to turn away anyone in need.At times your emotions get the better of you and you swing from high to low. Family members and friends will be well aware of your moody nature. Those who know you, however, have no doubt about your loyal and supportive nature. You treat everyone as a mother does a child. Friends can turn to you whenever they are experiencing difficulties, knowing that your sensitive and compassionate touch will lighten their load.You are the consummate home-maker. You love to collect or keep mementoes of your past, scrapbooks and other memorabilia that can elicit memories of those you care for. There is also an air of nostalgia surrounding you.Your memory is indeed extraordinary and you have a knack of recalling not just facts, but especially any good turn or kindness bestowed upon you. You're always able to discuss many different subjects with different folk, because you have a retentive memory but also impartiality to people generally. Dealing with people comes naturally to you and, coupled with your shrewd and intuitive sense, makes you a good businessperson. Even if you don’t pursue business as such, you can apply these skills to managing your day-to-day life most resourcefully.You may feel most creative when the twilight hours begin. You feel at home in the evening and this is due to your strong affinity with the vibrations of the Lunar energies. Writing, meditating, contemplating or taking leisurely strolls under the Moonlight will energise you. | How do you compare?
Take this test! | Tests from Testriffic |
The ones in small letters and higlighted fitted me really well. =)
 | Misfits. | Dec 30, '07 8:54 AM
for everyone |
Whoa...may misfit dito ah. =(
DO NOT CHEAT OR IT WON'T WORK AND
YOU WILL WISH YOU HADN`T.
TAKE 3 MINUTES
TRY THIS - IT WILL FREAK YOU OUT
THIS GAME HAS A FUNNY / CREEPY OUTCOME.
DO NOT READ AHEAD, JUST DO IT.
IT TAKES ABOUT 3 MINUTES - WORTH A TRY
1st. Get PEN and PAPER
2nd. WHEN CHOOSING NAMES, MAKE SURE
THEY ARE REAL PEOPLE THAT YOU ACTUALLY
KNOW
3rd. GO WITH YOUR FIRST
INSTINCTS !!!!! Very important for
good results.
4th SCROLL DOWN
ONE LINE AT THE TIME
DON`T READ AHEAD
otherwise
YOU WILL RUIN THE FUN.
1. On a blank sheet of paper, WRITE
NUMBERS 1 through 11 in a COLUMN on
the LEFT.
2. Next to the NUMBERS 1 & 2,
WRITE DOWN ANY
2 NUMBERS YOU WANT.
DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE NUMBER?
3. Next to the NUMBERS 3 & 7,
WRITE DOWN THE NAMES OF TWO MEMBERS
OF THE OPPOSITE SEX. SAME SEX IF GAY
CAUTION: DO NOT LOOK AHEAD or IT WILL
NOT TURN OUT RIGHT
4. WRITE ANYONES NAME
(like FRIENDS or FAMILY...)
next to 4, 5 & 6.
DON`T CHEAT OR YOU`LL BE UPSET THAT
YOU DID
5. WRITE down FOUR SONG TITLES in 8,
9, 10, & 11
6. Finally,
MAKE A WISH
ARE YOU READY?
HERE IS THE
KEY TO THE GAME
1. THE NUMBER of PEOPLE THAT LIKE YOU
is found in
SPACE 2
2. THE PERSON IN SPACE
3 IS THE ONE YOU LOVE
3. THE PERSON YOU LIKE but your
relationship CANNOT WORK is in
SPACE 7
.
4. YOU CARE MOST about the PERSON you
put in
SPACE 4
5. THE PERSON YOU NAME IN NUMBER 5 IS
THE ONE WHO
KNOWS YOU VERY WELL.
6. THE PERSON YOU NAMED IN 6 IS YOUR
LUCKY STAR
7. THE SONG IN 8 IS THE SONG THAT
MATCHES WITH THE
PERSON IN NUMBER 3
8. THE TITLE IN 9 IS THE SONG FOR THE
PERSON IN 7
9. THE 10TH SPACE IS THE SONG THAT
TELLS YOU MOST ABOUT
YOUR MIND
10. AND 11 IS THE SONG TELLING HOW YOU
FEEL ABOUT LIFE
11. NUMBER 1 IS YOUR
LUCKY NUMBER
repost this
WITHIN AN HOUR OF READING THIS.
IF YOU DO, YOUR WISH WILL COME TRUE. so? did it fit yours? :) | |
